Creativity and Originality

So, I’ve been labeled an artist. I’ve been called creative. I used to say, “I’ve been accused of being creative or an artist.”

However, to be honest, I don’t feel like I’m creative. I don’t think I’ve had an original thought that wasn’t somehow influenced by something I had seen or read before. And, I don’t think any of us have. I don’t think that exists.

Some people might be better at channelling creative energy. Where they come up with ideas without being taught. Example, all of our oldest ancestors would have had to have creative thought to be able to build the plentiful amazing structures we are all familiar with today. Even then, my ancestors would have said they observed another life form – example perhaps they saw a bird building a nest, or a beaver building  a dam, or some sort of burrowing animal with an underground home – and built based on that observation.

Wisdom was gained also by channeling messages from the life around them, example trees and stones. That could have been a source of information for which our ancestors figured out how to build our earliest homes.

Whatever creativity or originality is, I think from a very young age I was detached from it. And, once I am done school it is my mission to find the original/creative spark. I think I was severed from a very young age, because my earliest memories were of me wanting to just know what people wanted from me. “How do you want me to do this?” “How can I do this, “Right?” I had very little sense of being able to physically create anything from a creative space.

I pass as a creative thinker, but I really don’t think I am. I think I’m pretty logical and irrational in my expectations, which draws me to solutions that sound innovative. Really, I just caught bits of information here and there. What I think I have in my favour is that I know that certain things feel good and loving, and others don’t. And I go towards the things that feel loving. And, I try to understand why I feel the ways I feel. I think ultimately, my love feelings drive me to all beings discovering their inner desires and motivators, and being able to separate the motivators rooted in fear of being unloved, or lack of love and seeking it.

 

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